Jul 19, 2011

operation :: new beginnings

Going through the motions of each day.

 I type.

Frustration overcomes me as ideas are scrabbled and jumbled tangle in my mind.

I look around me and am uninspired. I ask myself, "There is so much beauty in the world. Why am I not seeing it?" I ask the Lord to open my eyes.

I'm confused on what type of person I am; I'm confused on where I'm going, what are my dreams and hopes, what are my goals that I want to accomplish in this life. It's scaring me that things are not convicting me as I know they should in areas of life I know could be improved.   

I know for one thing :: I am obsessed with blogging. And it's not a good, devoted, want-to-bless-others-through-my-blog type of devotion, but I am starting to become greedy, wanting more comments, more followers, I want more

But I have come to the conclusion, through all the greed and confusion and selfishness, that my wants and devotion, my investments of time and emotions, are not focused on what is truly important. My relationship with the Lord is not what it should be, and that's where this blog draws the line. 

So, I'm starting anew.Whilst yet I am still planning my end of the summer garden party for next month, I shall not be devoting my time towards updating my post at the moment and limiting my computer time to an hour a day. 

 I am blessed to have 210 lovely visitors in my garden, and if God bless me with more, I am truly thankful. But I'm starting to compare my blog, my writings, my photographs to others and am depressing myself for no reason. 
{Thank you Miss Sonja for sharing this post.}

   As of late, life has just been going through the motions for me. Honestly, it's, in my mind been dull, normal ordinary days. There have been highlights, of course, but busyness tends to take away the joys of simple living.

 I am lacking inspiration and want new crispness, so I am tackling the project of redecorating and rearranging my room. 
Obtaining a fresher feel. I'm starting an inspiration board. Planning to hang an art print.  
Hopefully, leading up to painting my room someday. ;) 

I got my hair trimmed to-day, and textured my ever-growing bangs. I'm going to experiment with hairstyles, perhaps, even posting a few tutorials soon. Fashion is something I'm working on as well. 

I shall be devoting my time to harvesting my lavender which is in full bloom. Reading many books and extending my vocabulary, as because school is out, I haven't the opportunity to do. Writing letters to friends and sewing up my dear friend's birthday presents.     

Believe me, dear friend, idleness is a dangerous thing. It allows one to have too much time on their hands that, if not handled properly, can be squandered and wasted. Do not fall into this trap as I have done. 



  1. Amen.
    You are a wonderful writer, Grace, and you express your thoughts so well. Thank you so much for posting this! -- I really needed this post. :)
    Much love in Christ,


  2. Grace, I can hardly begin to tell you how encouraging it is to know that someone else goes through this too. There is such a lack of spirituality in this world - so even if you fail everyday, as we all do along the Narrow Way - praise God that He has opened your eyes to your down-fallings. That is what I try to do. Realize my faults, my sins, start over, though it's a daily, daily struggle.

    Do you have an email address? I'd love to contact you via email! :) That would be a blessing!


  3. Thank you Grace, for being honest! I, too, have found myself in your position before. Sometimes we just need to stop and smell the roses and figure out what the most important things in life are. And if blogging is on our list before other things that should be more important, we need to change something. May the Lord lead you and guide you.
    I love you!!! ;)

  4. Thanks girls for the encouragement!

    Love you all!

  5. Amazing, amazing post. I fully agree with you! Thanks for sharing this!