Jan 20, 2014

in the depths of winter, i found there was within me an invincible summer.

january. it was all things.
and it was one thing...january was moments and january was a year. 
// patricia highsmith //
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||| images taken with iphone + edited with vsco ||| 

we went up north for a weekend trip. the weather was light, and the air was full of the sea and shattered with spring. old, frightful mr. winter was like a far off imagining. upon our arrival, we walked along a pier drenched in an august-like sunset, the sea soaking the leftover slivers of sunbeams. calmly,  the waves ruffled the meandering shore with lace, while the lapping of the sapphire waters and the ombre skies filled my soul with cravings for summer all over again.

i'm back home now, refreshed and ready to tackle shakespeare studies and whatnot. i suppose the winter doldrums have washed over me, leaving me uninspired hardly touching anything but books and music [but what more could a girl content herself with?]; but the pear tree across the street blooming has given me hope that warmer days are coming.  it's mum's birthday. happy birthday, to my wonderful, amazing, brilliant, hard-working, fantastic, incredible mom! {"baked you a soufflĂ© to-day, but it was too beautiful to live." ;)}. i hope someday i can explain to her how amazingly grateful i am that she's my mum.

xx // listen // play // yes

postscript // i haven't been writing much of late. or photographing. or come to think of it, journaling either. i can't even remember the last time i took joy in snapping the shutter. i guess i'm stuck in between who i was and who i want to be; and i'm gathering the courage to try something new. thanks for all the support/love/and sticking with me these past few months! ya'll are the best. 

p.s.s. do ya'll have any tips/links for shooting in manual? i am so stuck with photography right now; and really want to learn how to shoot manual; since I shamefully haven't gotten the hang of it after four years of owning a DSLR. 
p.s.s.s. our consulting detective has returned to the states and the game is BACK on. how did you enjoy the premiere? I must admit, that I have already seen the whole entire season, and am already anxiously awaiting season 4 to launch on Christmas of this year. *sqeeeee* 

Jan 1, 2014

the clock struck twelve...

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||| photo collage inspired by the lovely miss marcia who you simply MUST visit ||| 
isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different. // c. s. lewis
:: highlights :: 
january // i faced disappointments whose defeats i determined
february // the first victorian ball ever attended; the flowers bloomed early while i pleaded for life to begin
march // j & i trampled about the happiest place on earth quoting sherlock from dawn until dusk 
april // life springs alive when grace is in your heart and flowers adorn your hair
may // i fell in love with the sound of a1940's typewriter, and we've been running ever since. 
june // my journal was stuffed with descriptions of dances and sun spills and summertime beginnings
july // my voice was warmed with song and courage and my heart with new friendships
august // my summer adventures continued in orange county where i discovered a year changes things and i came home never to be the same; pieces of my heart are scattered abroad waiting to be found in a city i've never been, in a kindred spirit i have never met, or recovered once more in places shoved in my memories
september // brought exploring the untouched woodlands where rock and lattices of light and water created pieces of art 
october // brought the 1913's alive with a reenactment i won and a very special day i could have never imagined otherwise
november // thankfulness for home and wonder for what will come to be the same time next {this} year; happily ever afters are not given freely rather fought for, fiercely. 
december // i discovered a victorian ball is the best way to be captured by the christmas spirit, braces were quite a nuisance, and home is always where my heart remain. 
lewis described life within one simple sentence. days slip one after the other. stars march across midnight horizons, and the sun rises as easily as it sets. pages of our lives flip, few dog-eared for later review, and soon we come to significant points in our life when years come to a close and we are forced to look upon what impressions her waves have left for us to collect on the shore. 
there we find nothing is the same. 

twenty-thirteen was a drag, a waiting, a storybook, a wandering, an exploration, a wondering, and now simply a season now snapped shut with no apologies. to be quite honest, twenty-forteen holds so many hopeful prospects, i do not regret 2013's goodbye. there were many nights stifling tears from the ocean i discovered roared inside me, one that i guess has built up over these growing up years. and there was much sadness and confusion, and i realized how very prone i am to running away from my problems and that people leave and i will love them anyways. no matter how hard i try. and that God, in His infinite mercy, loves me anyways, no matter how far i try to run. 
this year is //
for loving if not half as much in return
reaching out to people who need His love and forgiveness 
being kind as every one is fighting a hard battle
being fully alive for Him 
and being brave enough to accept all the blessings in store in 2014. 

happy new year!