this is going to be one of those posts where I will not use fancy words {in which you have to fetch your dictionaries} or descriptive adjectives, but will attempt to write my feelings as bluntly and as accurately as possible. I do not believe it is in my ability to write exactly what I am feeling, but I hope that it will encourage you on your walk heavenward.
sometimes, my emotions become jumbled and mashed together that at points in the day I sway from feeling hurt and depressed to angry and disappointed. confusion sweeps over me and the line between what my mind thinks and what my heart feels becomes even more distinct. I suppose that comes with being a female, but sometimes no matter what I say or think aloud, or what anybody else tells me, it never puts my aching heart at ease.
when things don't go the way I should like with people, sometimes I wonder if it's my fault. I invest so much love, time, and effort into a relationship, and people disappoint me, leaving me to wonder: will you be there for me tomorrow? will you give me your shoulder for me to shed a tear? it stings miserably when people slough you - I know, I've been there. I
am there. I don't want to be that person. I always want to be there for you, but sometimes it hurts when you throw that love back in my face.
that's not true love, though. true Love is something that does not waver. it's unselfish. it never fears. it never fails. Love is something that does not matter if it is returned. yes, there is pain and tears - and sometimes little comfort - but Love looks beyond the pain, faults, and the injustice. Love steadily moves forward.
indeed, 'tis easier to love someone who loves in return, but remember what Christ took upon Himself, all in the act of love. a deep powerful Love from the beginning of time that chose to be mocked, whipped, bruised, spit upon, shunned, buffeted all for our sake. a deep and powerful Love we but little deserve and can little comprehend. every offense I feel little compares to what Christ endured, yet He still cares and understands and loves me. for being me.
if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
{John 4:11}
Love: so simple, yet so hard. :)
xoxo,
the girl in the garden.