oh hodgepodge vol. iv.

||| all stills taken with iPhone with // VSCO presets ||| 

+ new catchphrase of the month: "Good golly, Miss Molly!"...and i really don't know where these funny expressions come from. 
+ it's really fun to say, "Je ne sais pas." and I'm not even learning french. 
+ i have funny dreams at night. makes me wonder why people always say, "chase your dreams." {if by chasing my dreams, you mean chase that hobgoblin that was chasing ME in my dream - no, thanks}. 
+ all i want are warm days {or rainy ones} and loads of swing dances. is that TOO much to ask?!!! 
+ posh 50's speech from "call the midwife" is amusing - and dangerously catchy. 
+ i found my little slice of heaven in barns & noble the other day: the travel section {preferably about London}. 
+ the closest thing you'll get to snow here in my neck o' dee woods are the shedding of the white plum blossoms. 
+ college is coming a little too fast. 
+ summer, on the other hand, not fast enough. 
+ mum took me out for breakfast a few weeks ago to the most darling cafe by the sea. their french toast was sopping in butter with SCRUMPTIOUS fresh berries and sweet butter to boot. between that and the chai, we walked away very full and very happy. 
+ i've been going a little crazy with my journals of late, ripping up all the magazines these hands can find. 
+ if you haven't taken a bath with homemade sugar scrub, you're missing out. your skin will thank you, if you do. 
+ it's been absolutely TERRIBLE, these past few days without cream or milk or any dairy product in the house. no coffee. no tea. and on these rainy days, of course. ugh. it's devastating {not really}. i respect dairy-free gals, but i'm too much of a wimp to be able to do it on my own accord. :P
+ i've been sorting through my letter box, and gosh, i feel like one lucky girl as i can't even close it! {you all are amazing, by the way!}
+ i finally watched despicable me 2, and let me tell you one thing...I'VE BEEN LIVING MY LIFE UNDER A ROCK OKAY!!! 'nuf said. 
+ favorite class this semester? speech. my speech teacher is amazing. 
+ i am obsessed with instagram. and VSCO. but mostly instagram....and VSCO. 
+ where on earth did february go?!!!

la fine. 

xx 

un // duex // trois 

label this post under: teenage ditz. why do i like writing these posts?!!!

on journaling // little lottie.

I am so excited for all the good things to come. 

little lottie - woodsy & whimsical - serves as a constant reminder of the national park she was purchased in. she is named after "lotte" {or charlotte} from phantom of the opera and is often confused with her"twin" livvy {my very first journal}. more than once has her name been mistaken in an entry. to this day she is stuffed with bits n' pieces of life which include abandoned snail mail envelopes, magazine clippings, and love notes. {insane for naming my journals? yes, yes, i am}. 

bits and pieces // 
pressing/drying: plum blossoms and peach blossoms and roses from the farmer's market. 

journaling: about spring. missing summer. snail mail. 

inspired by: the epitome of journaling eye candy || this amazingly talented artist. 
missing: disneyland. a lot of people.  

listening to: swing and more swing. and cello music. 
wishing: for summer. for loads more dances. and for handsome young chaps to attend. :) 
watching: call the midwife || downton abbey 
learning: about makeup {best tip link recommendations?}

remembering: prince of egypt || a childhood + current favorite 

singing: to be free
loving: 40's // 50's anything {call the midwife will do that to you} || homemade sugar scrubs + warm baths. || curls.
munching on: clementines
drinking: iced vanilla coffee
preparing: a very late birthday present for my bestie {ugh. label me as a complete and utterly hopeless procrastinator} 
receiving: snail mail from this dear & this one

________________________________________________________________________________

the weather here in cali has been absolutely divine {so sorry to my dear east coasters}. it's been warmer outdoors than in, so the opening of the windows is called for. i've been listening to cello music because it makes me feel artistic and have been drinking more coffee than normal because it's been keeping me sane. the sun drenches the hills with pastels later and later each day; stirring excitement that day light savings is only a few weeks away. savoring the fresh air mingled with the alluring scent of plum blossoms and spring warmth does my soul good, filling the cracks in my heart winter seemed to slowly be chipping away. 

warmer days are coming. keep your head up, my dear. 

xx  

handmade valentines...

valentine crafting essentials // 
pretty paper, sparkly wash tape, assorted accessories, 
felt, pretty scissors, lace, ribbons, and striped baker's twine 
a strong cuppa of strawberries n' cream tea,
and good friends to ship your creations to.

xx 
postscript // what do you do for valentines? 

i'll see you in the future with your laughter lines.

i'll see you in the future, when we're older

and we are full of stories to be told...

i'll see you in the future with our laughter lines. 

// laughter lines, bastille // 

the problem is || i have a terrible memory.
i remember everything. 
every inside joke. every smile. every laugh. every conversation. every secret said and read in the way you looked at someone dear to your heart. every speech you've ever given, and every argument we could never settle. every car ride that never seemed short {or long enough} and every loose smile that tugged at my lips whenever you teased me. every moment i've never spent with you, and every person that touched your life. every story we've ever told, and every song we have ever sung.  
and i try to forget. i do. but how do you turn someone into a stranger when all your heartstrings are linked to mine? 
you're the stars sewn into my midnight skin - the dust that settles on every memory that i run into. 
you wander into my mind as easily as breathing. 
and i promised myself not to feed that little ache in my heart more than i should - 
not to be sad over the same thing twice over - the same thing that i can't fix. 
i wanted so desperately to be brave; to be the heroine of the story by moving on
but i ended up being simply a lingerer, a passerby. 
and let's face it
i have always worn my heart upon my sleeve
i've always loved too fiercely and remembered too easily
and every word of reprimand i've wanted to whisper 
are etched upon my brow
but my silence will forever scream
i miss you. i miss you. 
i. miss. you. 

maybe in the future, i'll see you with the laughter lines i didn't put there. 
and you can tell me a story. 
x.

what i reaped after four years of blogging and what i want to sow.

work for a cause not applause. live life to express not impress.

it's been four years past since i "planted" this little site. it seems like an age.
in all honesty, these past few months i've wondered if I should stop. after all, college is on the horizon; and hiatuses seem a little more common than they should be, while inspiration's only continuous trait seems to be constant absence. but, i keep having to breathe deeply and be reminded that winter only knows how to steal {warmth, color, verdure, birds, inspiration}. cold is its only companion - and it takes a true poet to see the beauty in that {by the way, i'm not that poet, just so you know:P}.

and i've pondered about changing the whole bit. uprooting my garden idea and placing it in a journal-type format with postscripts and footnotes and the like - but only for myself and my art...or what i like to call such. but then i remembered why i started "gardening/blogging." i started to gather people, because in the real world that's the purpose of a garden. to gather, to encourage, and to connect. i have met the dearest people in the world - people i couldn't even imagine where i'd be without, through blogging. and that's the charm i feel is slowly being left behind. focusing on gaining more followers instead of friendships, more comments instead of encouragement, more stats in place of truly bonding over common interests and inspiring one another. working for a niche that isn't your true style.

||| all these letters are for blogging friends // the yellow one is from one of my best of blogging friends ||| 

my friend wrote to me in a letter not too long ago about how when she left the blogging world, it felt like a lot of bloggers were writing only for themselves. and i wonder if that's why so many of the blogs, i loved to follow along have since been abandoned now after all these years. because trends only last awhile. floating sidebars go out of fashion; stellar photographs run out of film; editing programs become obsolete; writings run out of inspiration. i photograph for a compliment. i blog for comments. i blog for my own personal ego. "grace, you're so lovely;" "grace, you are so talented!" "grace, your photographs are stunning!" and if the comments stop one day, if inspiration runs for the hills, my frustration will always be rooted in unhappiness.

well, unhappiness ends here. it's time to rise to the challenge. it's time to stop aspiring and start connecting. stop reaping and start sowing.

*so tell me one blog you love, that inspires you, challenges you; and the blogger you want to aspire towards being like. tell me why? is it because of the number of followers or their true style? tell me why you love blogging. tell me why every time you log into your account - your heart skips a beat. tell me about the relationships you've formed and the people you've met and the stories of how blogging people have been there for you on a bad day or the time you met your best friend in real life behind the laptop that typed up all your posts.* 

blogging is a community. and someday, i'm going to travel the world - and i want to met every one of you so i can hear your story.

thanks for sticking around, friend. 
xx ||| tell me your story* 

temporal tipping points...

Time isn't a straight line. It's all... bumpy-wumpy. There's loads of boring stuff. Like Sundays and Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons. But now and then there are Saturdays. Big temporal tipping points when anything's possible.

// my raggedy man // 

some weeks simply feel like they drudge by, tangled with prosaic happenstances, scattered with a few tuesday afternoons that somehow slip into my sadly abandoned journal. and then there are sunday mornings ironically blithesome with clouds swelling with rain. and afternoons that are set aside to gather for american traditions.
and suddenly, you run into the wild wind, crisply exhilarating and breath-taking - as it should be in wintertime - bravely chasing a three year old on a trampoline with a camera, and for once, eagerly savoring the world under your cold finger tips. 
xx 
postscript // thank you for the response on my latest post! I've been experimenting with manual settings, and although, i still don't know what i'm doing, i'm loving it thus far. *wink*