so here we are, you and me, on the last page.

“That is the nature of endings, it seems. They never end. When all the missing pieces of your life are found, put together with glue of memory and reason, there are more pieces to be found.” ― Amy Tan 

i'd burn up a sun 
just for this // 

to burn all the thoughts of the end
all the goodbyes 
(that ended the 
few hours of talking that never
seemed quite enough)
for that one hello/ for that one embrace; 

i'd jump
into the depths of the sea for this // 

to drown all time 
& the moments i was never there
& the aching
& the missing
& those taunting miles 
           (in the frothy waves) 
for that first hour spent together; 

i'd tear 
all the last pages of // 

each & every novel 
in the world
 - and bind a million books with them - 
just so i could read
the last chapter of our adventures
over again to you
(on a two and a half hour trip)
home. 

a little bit of poetry written by moi

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

the days have been filled with endless laughter and smiles and rich things. johanna took me to her favorite tea house in san juan capistrano on wednesday, traditional shopping at the irvine spectrum on thursday, and kayaking at newport bay on friday. astounding how quickly a week can slip by. i can't say i like endings, and goodbyes are things i struggle with. in fact, i rather dislike them. nostalgia settles quite easily in my soul, and i miss the wind swept hair, the soCal weather, the teasing, the hugs, the british accents, the blaring OneRepublic in a certain golden car, the constant Sherlock quoting, and the evenings spent 'round the fire sipping coffee just to keep our drooping eyes awake. i miss her dearly. 

i'm home now. exhausted. apparently staying up until 3:00 in the morning around a cheery fire every night is catching up with me {who knew right?}. straight from LA, i joined my other best friend's future sister-in-law's {mouthful, right?} wedding shower and it was weird to come home to familiar faces - a good sort of feeling albeit bittersweet. it was good to see so many friends welcome me home. i start my final school year tomorrow. odd how everything slips back into ordinary. apparently, nothing new comes under the sun in this little town.

but in the end, I will savor the goodness of missing and be missed in return. 

xx 

listen //one || two || three