may your days be merry and bright...

||| all stills taken with my iPhone and edited with VSCO presets ||| 

my journal's spine is breaking with all i have been jotting and stuffing between her pages // 
>> the days have been cold and snowless {typical california}, but warmed with dances and dinners and the making and wrapping of handmade gifts. it's christmas eve eve, and i still have a staring ever-lengthening list that must be contended with. honestly, i think i spend half as much time befuddled as to how christmas came upon us all so very quickly. 

>> we saw saving mr. banks, and i cried. the end. 

>> friday night was spent dancing upon tip toe, being twirled and swung all about. a victorian christmas ball, though only five days prior to the big day, was the best of ways to experience christmas cheer. i came home with sore legs but dear memories of delightful music and deepening of friendships made it all the more worth it. 

>> stiff/sore legs didn't stop me for swing dancing on sunday evening. any dance in general i can't pass up, and the evening was filled to the brim with swing music, good food, fantastic friends, and deepening my love for swing dancing. another new year's resolution has been added to my list // learn how to swing dance WELL. ;) 
>> my darling friends have been showering me with anglophile/doctor who lovelies. miss JW sent me the cutest doctor who bookmark + tardis necklace; my dearest MP sent me a homemade notebook, while my darling amelia pond navigated a little TARDIS to my doorstep. secretly i think they're all trying to make up for my raggedy man regenerating on Christmas. *sniff, sniff* ;( 

two more days, m'dears! 
may your Christmas be merry and bright, lovely, blessed, and snowy white. ;) 

Merry Christmas, lovelies!!!

xx 

love is on the way.

I wake up to reality and now it's calling me, to be the kind of hope you're looking for. But I am here, and you're so far away, so there's no more time to waste. No longer waiting, I'm ready to go... // run, charmaine //

||| a few stills of december daily life ||| 

                                                                                        

i beg of you to love with your whole being & nothing less. 

there is a world outside, love

hardened with cold, cloaked in brokeness, frozen in bitterness, 

shadowed with hopelessness 

and only you hold the power to melt this tundra. 

show kindness. 

there are too many pretty eyes dimmed with tears at night

too many nights haunted with memories of loneliness

and too many hands numbed with indifference

kill this cold with kindness. 

you are broken, but don't let it stop you. 

you're too young to turn a cold shoulder against this world

yes it isn't fair, yes people have silently walked out

and left your heart's pieces on the floor

seasons have left you to starve, 

but

make sure to let life know

it hasn't hardened you

prove that it has strengthened you

& be a relentless message that love is on the way. 

the world is a harsh place, it's chalk full of broken people,

there's not enough room to add to the piles of bad things 

and we must leave it a better place than it was found. 

xx 

||| one ||| two ||| three |||  

rocking around the christmas tree...with red lipstick.

>> confession. i was a bit reluctant to join delight's "rocking red lips day." red lipstick, though lovely and oh-so-forties-ish, scared me to death. 
>> confession. i researched lipstick way more than i needed to for this event. 

>> confession. i dragged my mom all over the place to find the right lipstick, and searched high and low for the "perfect" redness.  

>> confession. i didn't find it. 

>> confession. red lipstick is hard to find. 

>> confession. i stink at putting lipstick on. {in sephora the other day, i literally had red lipstick all over my face *ultimate face palm*}. 

>> confession. i mixed like four different lipsticks to get this color. 

>> confession. i didn't wear the red lips all day. *shhhh* 

>> confession. i tried really hard to persuade mum to let me wear it to church. here's how it went // 

me: i wouldn't wear it to church but, i finally got a color i like...

mom: yeah, that's much better. 

me: *looking in mirror* well actually, it's not too bad. i think i could maybe wear it to church...

mom: uh, no.

me: okay. 

yup, isn't that the most persuasive speech you ever did hear? i wouldn't have been brave enough to wear it to church anyhow. :D 

>> confession. red lipstick made me don on my fifties dress that my sister bought me + pearls. it MADE me do it, kay?!

>> confession. red lipstick makes me want to go swing dancing. 

>> confession. i think i may have fallen in love with red lipstick. 

>> confession. did you read "confession," before each line?! :D 

xx 

postscript // it's december already?!!! where on earth did this year go?!! - scratch that, where on earth did my life go?!!! 

on christmastime crafting::

christmas crafting essentials // 
twine, pretty paper, ribbon, tea packets, wax seals
glitter tape {lots of it} 
celctic woman/michael buble christmasy background music
the best of friends to ship your parcels to 

a few current parcels all tied up with twine and stamped with addresses, waiting to be shipped out. 

it's that time of year again. 

whatcha making this year? 

xx
watch this to see inside these lil' packets of goodness. ;) 

"i want to be like water. i want to slip through fingers, but hold up a ship."

||| all stills taken with my iphone and edited with vscocam |||

the days are colliding
so are you.
the leaves are collapsing
would it be a lie to say
you are too?
sadness and cold
rustle in the cage of your bones
every inhale and exhale
stings at gypsy wind stirrings
shocked with cold.
yet even that does not electrify
even that does not make you forget.

you're quick to defend that they don't really know who you are or who you want to be.
do you?
you are in love with the cities these eyes have never seen
and these fingers have never penned nor footsteps have ever imprinted
or 
are you in love with the idea that no one knows what you are
and where you've been - where all the townspeople are
oblivious of the demons in the closet of your mind
and soon maybe you will be too.
are you truly in love with the sea, or do you love the feeling
of relief it sweeps over you, when you feel the loneliness of it
strum your own heart's breathings?

is it harder to carve your face with silent tears
or to cry in front of strangers?
make your choice. stop listening to the lies
that you whisper over and over to yourself to sleep.
you are young. you are free in His grace.
i can't stress to you enough that 
you are never alone.
yes, you are broken, yes. you will always be broken.
yes, you are sad. yes, you hurt. yes, you lie to survive.
but you don't have to be this.
be a living breathing exclamation
that this is who you are: one who doesn't know all the 
answers to everything but goes on adventures
to discover, one who loves fiercely and 
puts their whole heart on the line for love, 
one who knows that each staring flaw is a reminder 
of mistakes but how He helped you overcome 
each and every one of them. 
be water, slip through the fingertips of people 
who have the courage to discover your depths. 
but be strong enough 
to hold up a thousand ships of messages. 
messages of love and joy. 
be alive. because we are too young not to be. 
xx 
  
listening // 
remarks, 1000 ships, & overwhelmed by rachel platten 
isabella by dia frampton
feel again by one republic 
missing you, loving you and you and you and you 
please read // this & this {both of whom inspired this post} 
*title quote by michelle williams 

a seventeen spent at the happiest place on earth.

that's the real trouble with this world: too many people grow up. // walt disney // 

it's surreal to wake up on your birthday in a hotel room that has become like a home {after many previous stays} and with people who are like family. to turn a year older and drink in seventeen years at a place steeped in childhood nostalgia is perhaps the best way to do so. and I feel so remarkably blessed to have had the opportunity.

the 25th was my seventeenth birthday. I had my two best friends at each of my sides at the happiest place on earth for the last time round. it was a magical time, as always, brimming with starbucks, sherlock quoting, british/german accents, teasing, loads of laughter, misty mornings, and people who i hold very dear to my heart.







{psst! wanna know a secret? this girl can't hold a pose in front of a camera to save her life. *smiles*}















>> oh, yeah, guys! this is david. pretty much the best disneyland cast member there ever was. ;) 

disneyland short stories + hodepodge // 
+everyone at disneyland makes you feel so special on your birthday. from cast members working at the turnstiles and shop counters, to waiters who served yummy cupcakes with candles, to starbucks workers writing happy birthday on the cups, and the characters in the parade. it really is the most magical place.  
+mum's friend took us all out for breakfast at the storyteller cafe. i tried egg's benedict for the first time, and i think i have fallen in love. 
+we were taken off toy story mania when it broke down and got to see behind the scenes of the ride.
+johanna & i bought tiaras, and we felt like princesses.
+we celebrated johanna's unbirthday. 
+i halted the buzz lightyear ride for losing my sunglasses. to say the least, now joanna and i are even since she stopped it the year before. 
+yes, my two best friends are named "joHanna" and "joAnna." it's confusing, i know. 
+we chatted with the NICEST disneyland cast member EVER for about an hour and a half in innoventions. i think we covered every single tv + movie + music subject out there, and were so beyond surprised/blessed to be given a special fast pass on any ride of our choice by him the next day. david, you made our visit so much more amazing! disneyland should definitely give you a raise. ;) 
+we had a MARVELous time seeing the iron man exhibit. all the suits are incredible, and jarvis's voice = the best. 
+red from disney's cars "sang" happy birthday to us. 
+the worker on tower of terror made the whole crowd sing happy birthday. 
+i think i got five birthday buttons on this trip {shhhh!}, since i didn't really care for any of the people's handwriting, so finally i had the opportunity to write my own name. 
+johanna is the worst driver on autopia. joanna is the worst driver on indiana jones. just so you know. :) 
+i'm going to miss disneyland. so very much indeed.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

xx from your official seventeen year old disneyland adventurer