stepping out // the real me.

hello, my darling reader! please, do sit down, have a cup o' tea whilst I tell something that has been needed to say awhile ago... 

I know I have probably bored you to death with all these posts relating to "being authentic" and "showing the real me" and perhaps, some of you don't actually believe my attempts are in fact noble. but let me tell you that these past few weeks have been really eye-opening to me. indeed, there was a bit of hurt and a few tears involved, and a couple of nights that I never thought the sun would rise in the morning; however, thankfully, there were friends who I could shed a few tears on their shoulders, and His faithfulness and promises that encouraged me to continue blogging...something that I had/have seriously considered to stop.

anywho...I'm "stepping out," reavealing the true me {didn't I say that already?}. I'm going to tell you things that I have been too scared to tell to my blogging audience, but now that we are "bosom friends" I suppose I should spill it all out...

{^^disclaimer, not my image} 

{one} I like psych {and Monk}. it's one of my favorite TV shows...a little inappropriate content within, but through Biblical spectacles, we can look past the bad and pick out the good, right?

{two} I really want to include more quirkiness into my blog...I have found myself more than once say, "I am so weird." but I've always been self-conscious about this - yet now I'm stepping out and saying, "yes, yes I am," and I think if I include this more into my aspect of my blog, then it'll show a little more of me.

{three} fashion. alright, here's an iffy subject, wait for iiiiiiiiiiit...I wear pants and shorts {burmudas, not those practically-under clothes-type-of-shorts} and sleeveless tops and dresses. no, I don't have a conviction to wear just skirts and dresses, although I much prefer wearing those because I feel more like a girl. :) but here's the thing...it's hot hot H.O.T. here in the central CA, and as long as the outfit isn't showy, I'm okay with sleeveless tops and shorts.

{four} unedited photos. PicMonkey, doesn't work for me, and I'm attempting to try to figure out Gimp. until then, there's going to be a few unedited photographs, so be patient with me. :)

{five} time. I probably will not update my garden entries as much as I used to. I appreciate the 390 faithful followers who have stuck by me throughout this whole transition, and from the bottom of my heart I give my thanks. you all have been so encouraging and just wonderful really.

the key to good blogging is accepting yourself, and until you can do that, nobody else is going to take you seriously. so that's what I'm going to do...I am truly going to reveal who I am, even if it takes awhile for me to embrace this "new Grace" myself. but I need your help as well...being a true friend to somebody means to accept them for who they are, no matter what. some things I publish in the future you might not see eye-to-eye with, might not like...I mean, 'common, one of my best friend's and I can't agree on ANYTHING {I should write a post on that sometime, Miss J *smile*}, but yet, we are still the best of friends. so, I hope this still means that you and I will always be faithful friends, and you will continue to stop by to linger amongst the wildflowers.

with love,
the girl in the garden.
postscript :: I am starting a new little prayer journal, and I was wondering if you would like to send in prayer requests and I would love to tuck them into my journal. {please e-mail them to me separately}.

  {images via pinterest}

the story that came to be // letters from the past.

each of us has a story. no two are alike. similar, but not the same. some choose to embrace it, some discover it later in life, and some try to live a story that was never theirs to begin with. new roots are planted, old ones are discovered. in the end, roots become deep and no matter where you are, where you go, those roots remain. but sometimes, they intertwine and I would be foolish to call it "fate" that makes it so. sometimes love stories are formed, dry valleys appear, mountaintops are conquered, friendships are restored, new ones are discovered - it's all part of a unique story. and it's yours.

1945. "my dearest Pamela," each letter would begin. lists and drawings, inside jokes, and memories, money matters, scrapbook ideas, all intertwined within words of endearment and love. seventy years ago, they were in love. this was there story.

my grandfather was was an artist. my grandmother, an actress. they lived separate stories that were one day intertwined to create one they both shared. my grandfather became a soldier in World War II, trained at a little army camp outside of my little town I now call home. both my grandparents originated from Los Angeles, the birth place of my mother, yet my grandmother never forgot this little town {having lived here for a few months as my grandfather was being trained, and vacationing here with my mother when she was a little girl}.

who would have known, that as they lived their story, they began a new one. my mother would have never lived here if it weren't for her father being trained in a little camp outside our hometown. my father would have never met my mother, and I would not be typing this story at the moment.

two simple lives intertwined. a chain reaction. and the story that came to be.

that was their story. what's yours?
xoxo,
the keeper of the garden.

loving life // chasing dreams.

and I could go...

// running //

// and racing //

// and dancing // 

// and chasing // 

// and leaping //

// and bounding // 

// hair flying, heart pounding // 

// and splashing // 

// and reeling // 

and finally feeling....

>>----now's when my life begins.----> 

I had a dream. it wasn't like ordinary dreams. 'twas merely a "quiet thought" to which my heart pondered whence I lay amongst the day lilies and smelled their sweet perfume. 'twas a hope when divine providence sent a beam of sunshine upon me, a hope that taught me how to truly rely on Him. it became a silent word. a murmured prayer. a desire to which I began to pray about fervently.


joy planted her seed within my heart, but the growth was in soil scattered with pebbles. yet through it all God sent hope to water joy's seed. to nurture and encourage its growth. hope provided roots, and as days went on hope became "the tree of life."

yet time has a way with stealing such joy, by robbing joy's seedling of her beneficial nutrients such as peace and trust and hope...that the small seedling's growth became slow, but through it all God was faithful and sent the little plant, drops of water - whispers of encouragement. it grew. and eventually blossomed into a flower whose beauty I could never have imagined.

all those years watching from the windows

all those years, outside looking in...

"I've been staring out of a window for eighteen years. what if it's not all that I dreamed about?" 

"it will be." 

"and what if it is?" 

"well, I guess that's the beauty of dreams, you get to go find a new one."

~flynn and rapunzel from tangled. 

all those years waiting and dreaming and praying. and now before my eyes, it's coming true.

I am in awe. this has only been a snippet of God's ultimate plan. so for now, I will continue to dream and pray and hope. for who knows, dreams come true everyday. and mine is just the beginning...

lovingly,
the girl in the garden chasing her dream.

{images via pinteres} 

decide what you want to be and GO be it.

it started with a seed, an idea. it was planted and grew into a seedling with pink walls and swirly background. and from that seedling...

it was transformed into a garden. 

"planting" this little garden o' mine, I never could even imagine that I would have over 300 readers from around the world reading just a small-town girl's ramblings. I learned to accept that I did not live in an exciting place but learned to call this little glen my own. I went through stages, my loves and interests began to expand, published my triumphs and faults, and through the years of it all, I began to nestle a dear fondness for this little online place. and you were there. every step of the journey. excitement always {still} surged through me as I heard from ladies across the country exclaim what an inspiration this little place was, the authoress a small-town girl of fifteen....

now, I stare at my typewriter and have no words type. my pen has stopped quivering. new dreams linger on the horizon and beckon. the world swims before my eyes. but my little garden calls me back again. as of late, I have wondered if this dear little place is holding me from leaping forward, from the growing and maturing into the young woman I want to become...and if it is time to pen my the final chapter.

yet...one thing I have learned from this blogging experience is...it's so hard to say goodbye. I look back and tears slip down my cheek when I think of all the memories I have created, how many beautiful words have been strung, all the work and time invested, how many friendships have been built...

this is my life. I can't throw it all away. not now, not yet.

 however, I am changing and learning to accept my passions and talents and "weeding out" the talents that I am not as passionate about, even though I enjoy them very much. I dearly love to blog, but my true passion is crafting - making things with my hands. and I want to give my passion, my all...I want to bless others with it and glorify the Creator who gave it to me. 

but for now, no, I am not going to "pen the final chapter," even though my well of inspiration is slowly draining. I do believe this is not just a mere stage of "uninspiredness," but perhaps, a step towards a bigger dream. a dream, He's implanting in my heart, and this is just the beginning... 

so will you join me for the new journey? 
lovingly, 
the keeper of the garden. 

postscript :: thank you all for the support you have given me, even though I have not been posting often. the warmest of welcomes to my newest followers as well! I hopefully will be posting a vlog soon to give you more details...any questions while I'm at it?  

may // spring's crescendo

{all SOOC} 

it starts with a note. 

one note. 

on a white canvas. 

small and insignificant. 

softly and sweetly, quietly it begins. 

'tis but a slight noise, yet the beginning of a masterpiece composed of trills and bases. 

each a separate melody.

amidst the sunshine and blossoms, the trills and twitters, there is a sound. 

softly it began with each delicate bloom, until a crescendo is strummed. 

color bursts onto the white canvas, how small and insignificant it began.

fluttering on wings made of hope and dreams, 

bluer now the sky nears, lovelier the treetops appear

each piece has a melody, each season a crescendo. 

do you stop to listen to the orchestra outside the window? 

purple sunflare // yellow tea roses // breath-taking sunsets // sewing projects // floral wrapping paper // dreams of the future // new life // flea market finds // vintage letters // afternoons at the theatre  

is it a wonder I returned? 

but I have. and I am happy. have a million photographs to share, and stories to tell. 
in that, I'm a bit overwhelmed as my favorite photo editing program shut down, my studies have just realized that 'tis my final quarter and jamming everything they didn't seem to "have time" to fit into this final month, birthday present making, summer agendas planning, and a new blog design that must somehow take place soon. 
and, may has finally graced the calendar. spring's crescendo, summer's prologue. another chapter to be written. 

what flowers have grown in my absence? 
lovingly,
the girl happy to be back in her garden.