a seventeen spent at the happiest place on earth.

that's the real trouble with this world: too many people grow up. // walt disney // 

it's surreal to wake up on your birthday in a hotel room that has become like a home {after many previous stays} and with people who are like family. to turn a year older and drink in seventeen years at a place steeped in childhood nostalgia is perhaps the best way to do so. and I feel so remarkably blessed to have had the opportunity.

the 25th was my seventeenth birthday. I had my two best friends at each of my sides at the happiest place on earth for the last time round. it was a magical time, as always, brimming with starbucks, sherlock quoting, british/german accents, teasing, loads of laughter, misty mornings, and people who i hold very dear to my heart.







{psst! wanna know a secret? this girl can't hold a pose in front of a camera to save her life. *smiles*}















>> oh, yeah, guys! this is david. pretty much the best disneyland cast member there ever was. ;) 

disneyland short stories + hodepodge // 
+everyone at disneyland makes you feel so special on your birthday. from cast members working at the turnstiles and shop counters, to waiters who served yummy cupcakes with candles, to starbucks workers writing happy birthday on the cups, and the characters in the parade. it really is the most magical place.  
+mum's friend took us all out for breakfast at the storyteller cafe. i tried egg's benedict for the first time, and i think i have fallen in love. 
+we were taken off toy story mania when it broke down and got to see behind the scenes of the ride.
+johanna & i bought tiaras, and we felt like princesses.
+we celebrated johanna's unbirthday. 
+i halted the buzz lightyear ride for losing my sunglasses. to say the least, now joanna and i are even since she stopped it the year before. 
+yes, my two best friends are named "joHanna" and "joAnna." it's confusing, i know. 
+we chatted with the NICEST disneyland cast member EVER for about an hour and a half in innoventions. i think we covered every single tv + movie + music subject out there, and were so beyond surprised/blessed to be given a special fast pass on any ride of our choice by him the next day. david, you made our visit so much more amazing! disneyland should definitely give you a raise. ;) 
+we had a MARVELous time seeing the iron man exhibit. all the suits are incredible, and jarvis's voice = the best. 
+red from disney's cars "sang" happy birthday to us. 
+the worker on tower of terror made the whole crowd sing happy birthday. 
+i think i got five birthday buttons on this trip {shhhh!}, since i didn't really care for any of the people's handwriting, so finally i had the opportunity to write my own name. 
+johanna is the worst driver on autopia. joanna is the worst driver on indiana jones. just so you know. :) 
+i'm going to miss disneyland. so very much indeed.

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xx from your official seventeen year old disneyland adventurer 

these october days.

||| all stills & typography taken with my iphone using vscocam + studio + osmo leaker ||| 

autumn here in cali doesn't burn fiercely, it slips. one day summer makes up her mind to walk out - but more frustrating than that is the time it takes for her to make up her mind. even now, the trees know it's time for change, but the weather is a bit more reluctant, stubbornly staying 80 degrees. even the wind dies down amidst the hills. 
october settling in my bones comes with a mixture of feelings. delight, anticipation, but also learning and letting go and a heap of heart-ache. expectation, more so. maybe it's the zenith of the seasons. maybe we are all summer - we come passionately and fade as quickly as autumn. we fade from each other, and i almost believe that autumn reveals to us truths of honest colors. just as the leaves reveal their true colours and the dying pleas of the quivering tips tell their seasons. if you listen, you'll find worlds you don't want to let go of..
maybe people are the same too. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

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anticipating:: tent city, disneyland trip, my birthday 
listening to:: bastille || lumineers || & this 
writing to:: katie jo, this kindred, a bella ragazza, and a finder of beauty
brewing a cuppa:: strawberries n' cream tea || nostalgia
watching:: person of interest, the paradise, agents of shield
reading:: anne of avonlea
loving:: storms, a reminder that even nature has bad days.
firsts :: first time putting my hair up in a high messy bun || first time liking it.  
to-do:: write 17 love letters to leave on my 17th birthday
trying:: iphoneography 
antique adventuring :: found this kodak beaut for only $6 
eating:: pumpkin - everything || apple fritter toast 
cooking:: comfy vegetable cheddar soup  
quoting:: "to love is to be vulnerable. love anything and your heart will be wrung." cs lewis
"there is a crack in everything; that is how the light gets in." leonard cohen
loving:: typography || instagram || my new iphone {yay for being addicted to technology} 
learning:: german. || inhale. exhale. || live your life in the whole. || let it go. it's not worth it. 

it's been a long time since i asked, and i really wanna know: 
what have you been up to, lovely? 
xx
postscript :: wish me luck, darlings! i'm coming home with an acting award this year. and not simply a figurative one.*smiles* 
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tell me a piece of your history:

TELL ME A PIECE OF YOUR HISTORY that your proud to call your own ||  
what i am is a sojourner who treads like rain in summer. i might be lucky enough to make it into your journal entry, but i'm only categorized under the mundane happenstances, when you are a fairy tale i am afraid to write the end of for fear it does not turn into a happily ever after.
TELL ME A PIECE OF YOUR HISTORy that you have never said out loud || 
what i am is a wanderer 
who isn't quite against the idea of getting lost. because maybe, possibly, i might find myself 
- a self  that could  survive without you - 
out there, under foreign stars which i will hardly be able to comprehend into constellations.  because you're forgetting, and i'm fading. i'm becoming nothing more than a grace note. a memory.  & i'm not even sure about that anymore. 
Now you've hit a wall and it's not your fault || 
but every sigh reveals the truth of the matter:
 you are home 
and i am all the more fragile than i tend to make myself believe. 
and maybe i'm getting tired of running away from everything - from this town,
from this skyline, 
from these hills, 
and roads which lead directly to the sea, 
from the things inside my mind that weren't really there and the things that are yet to be. 
i often ask myself if that's really why i'm stepping on to that flight across the world. 
to be missed. 
by you. 
maybe it's time to start running towards something instead. 



the truth of the matter is: i am so so scared you're going to forget me when i'm gone,
if you're already forgetting when i'm here. 
xx
p.s. this girl reads my heart and puts it to words. and i love her for that.
*lavender lyrics by bastille