i wish that plant life would grow all around me, so I don't feel dead anymore.

[lake tahoe | summer | 2012} 

sometimes revelations are revealed to you subtly, and sometimes it's like you've been slammed into a brick wall. those are the strange moments when the curtain has been lifted, and everything makes sense {for once}. and it seems those "aha" moments come to me when I listen to some of my favorite songs...

I have come to realize something - I've been lying to myself. {gee, Grace that is a little bit harsh!} yeah, well, it's true. when I said I was, "taking a step back," from my blogging, it was really just an excuse to hide. hide from the blogging world that had become to ravenous and blood-thirsty in my eyes; a world who I thought was ready at every moment to pounce at my throat, pointing out my little typos within my post and setting the standard I knew I couldn't reach. so why even try? 

you could never write something as perfect. you could never take a photograph so lovely nor edit it so nicely. you could never be the 'perfect' everybody wants to be like you blogger.... 

I began to shrivel up inside as these thoughts, although subtle, swirled in the back of my head.

and so I waited. 

I took a step back but instead of breathing...

I held my breath.

[spring | 2012]

I starved the artist inside me, and I became even more frustrated. whilst I watched life trickle by, I was longing for inspiration to just basically "hit me" over the head. I was longing for the day I would be able to log onto my computer and write the most provoking blog post; I was waiting for the day words would melt easily together to form captivating sentences; I was waiting for the motive to pick up my camera capture jaw-dropping photographs; I was waiting. 

but now, I want to stop waiting and t r y. 

{via pinterest} 

my desire is to not necessarily find my voice, but be molded into the person that God wants and created me to be. I can't say I will post a blog post every other day. I can't say that every post will be whimsy, dreamy, "picture perfect." I can't say that everything I type will make sense at the moment. but I will be comforted to know that everything I put into this lil' garden o' mine, has been from the heart.

thank you for your patience, lovelies. you are all the best readers anybody could ask for. ;)

xx's,
the girl happy to be back in her garden.