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it was a simple mistake, I admit. coming home your e-mail awaited me with a smirk, a message that would alter my outlook of life. it was a message from a blogger that I was excited to read until the words began to swim before my eyes. I couldn't continue reading as tears blurred my vision. your words stung. they dug into my heart mercilessly like a thorn. the wound cut deep. the sleepless nights afterward ached the most, as your words played over and over within my mind like a tape. I was but a tangled mess of confusion, anger, frustration, fear - undone by those "mere" words.
I had to apologize, after all it was my mistake, but it was difficult to swallow my pride and type those words "I'm sorry," to you who had tainted the zenith of my blogging experience. my expression was grim, when I pressed the "send" button. and I left it at that. no matter how much I fought, those words still rolled in my mind. "if you are an authentic blogger then you wouldn't have done that." over and over the hurtful words reeled.
I began to think the sun would never rise over the horizon the next morn. and yet, it did. and the Lord blessed me with comfort that came from soothing words exchanged by dear friends - particularly one who stayed up at 11:00 at night on a school night just to whisper them into my ear. but the scare from those piercing words would remain. words would never be "mere" words to me again.
I had to apologize, after all it was my mistake, but it was difficult to swallow my pride and type those words "I'm sorry," to you who had tainted the zenith of my blogging experience. my expression was grim, when I pressed the "send" button. and I left it at that. no matter how much I fought, those words still rolled in my mind. "if you are an authentic blogger then you wouldn't have done that." over and over the hurtful words reeled.
I hope someday that girl can forgive me. truly see that all was just an unintentional mistake gone terribly awry. perhaps someday - when we both arrive at heaven's doorstep - I can look her in the eye and be comforted that she has forgiven me.
darlings, please do use words with care. perhaps you will never realize how much of an effect they can have on another. if one's words sting, forgive and forget but remember all the same. learn from mistakes, and attempt to never make it your own. just a sister's piece o' advice. ;)
lovingly,
the girl in the garden.
[images via pinteres]
That was really brave and inspiring of you to leave such a deep and personal post. I pray that everything heals and works out for you:) "There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning"
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel, dear... it's oh-so-hard. We're all human and we make mistakes; though sometimes, people don't realize that. Words are big, they can scar a life for a long time. But don't fear, Grace! God is with you! -
ReplyDeleteProverbs 3:5-6
New International Version (NIV)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
I am praying for you... I know what thoughtless words can do..... I wanted to tell you that you are one of the best, creative, thoughtful bloggers I have ever read. Thank you for putting such effort into your blogging. You have encouraged me greatly.
ReplyDeleteand what a good piece of advice it is, grace. i have had experience dealing with anonymous comments that were geared specifically to hurt me, and even a few nasty emails. i get what you're saying here, and totally agree.
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Jess
Thank you for sharing this very personal post with us, Grace! It shows that you really are striving to be an authentic blogger. I'm praying for you, m'dear! Thank you for using this hurt that you have to help teach and encourage the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Emily.
Wow, I love that you were open and brave enough to post this, I do hope everything works out.
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Rachel Hope
Oh, believe me. It took all the courage I could gather to even START posting again on this blog. I was so shaken up by the affair...but I was amazed at how much support I received from all of my friends near and far away. ;)
DeleteOh, I'm sorry to read about this hurtful email that was sent for you. Don't take the words to heart, like you said, it was just a misunderstanding. And good for you for being able to even reply and apologize! :) I don't know who made up the quote, 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me' because that quote is so wrong! Glad that you're still posting though!
ReplyDeleteWhile I love how real this post is, I realize it must've been SO HARD to write it. It's really inspiring that you did it :) I hope it all turns out okay and I'll be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteOh darling, I had no idea you were going through this! I'm praying for you and glad you're posting even after a hurtful email. I hope everything is alright and I'm always always always here. <3
ReplyDeleteI can understand how much it hurts! But don't worry God will heal you!=)
ReplyDeleteGrace, it is wonderful that you are willing to post this, to share what has happened. I just wanted to remind you....you can't always focus on what people say. All around us, people will critize, people will say nasty things, but you can't always believe them. You have to move on.
ReplyDelete~Anonymous
Aw! I'm so glad you're okay to talk about it, dearest! It's always easier, so they say, to get it off of one's heart... although that scar can't quite ever go away. I'm proud of you, ducky.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Gabby
p.s. and hey, remember I don't mind if it's 11:00 at night or 2:00 in the morning- *smiles*
How brave of you to write this, Grace! It must have been hard, but sometimes it helps to write things out. I know many times we all say things without thinking, but God's grace is always there! I pray that the Lord will work in this young ladies' heart, and that she may too forgive.
ReplyDeleteLove you,
Miriam
Thank you for sharing something so personal! i know it is a great reminder of something we all need to do. It was amazing to see how Christ was honored in the way you handled it. I am so sorry that this girl caused you pain. May you be blessed in the way you have blessed others.
ReplyDeleteHello Grace!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know how to contact you via email, so I thought I'd leave my message in a comment here.
I have been looking around your blog for a little while now and I'm very impressed by your writing. Since you are a homeschooled Christian girl, I wonder if you have ever stumbled across the blog at www.altogetherseparate.com, a blog specifically for Christian homeschooled girls who are living a life apart from the world for Jesus. I'm one of the "bloggirls" there, along with four others, and we've been publishing roughly three posts a week since January. We recently had six members so that we were each writing a short post once every two weeks, but then one of our co-authors had to quit, so we are looking for another blogger who would be interested in encouraging and inspiring fellow Christian homeschool girls. The girl who had to quit, Crista Moriah, recommended you as someone who might be interested in participating in our community, and we wondered if you would like to join our group. We would certainly love to have you :) If you are interested or have any questions, please contact me at picturingbritain (at) gmail (dot) com.
Thank you for your time, and your lovely blog. God bless!
-Abigail Rogers
oh, friend, i am so sorry. whatever could you have done to provoke such an e-mail? i know nothing intentionally! was this blogger someone you looked up to? if so, i am so sorry. if you were in the wrong, of course, it is needed to say those words. but the one whom you need to apologize to never has to say cruel things--especially to you, who would never hurt anyone intentionally, i know!
ReplyDelete[hugs]
..if you need someone to talk to, i'm here! :)
I hope to read this and your newest post this week sometime, I'm getting ready to head out of town, but wanted to say HI, and I miss you! Looking forward to catching up!
ReplyDeleteGrace, what on earth did you say or do? I can not imagine you hurting anyone or saying something out of line...what am I missing? I am so sorry for your hurting, aching heart about this.
ReplyDelete